I read this post over at Rants from Mommyland (a truly hi-lar-ious blog, might I add) and I gave them a little mental fist bump. Here’s an excerpt:
I’m so glad that I am not the only one who does not want candy that will make my ass fat, jewelry that I fear will be clawed from my ears (and subsequently swallowed by one of my two littlins) or flowers that will wither and stink up the kitchen with their gooey green-slime-water next week. As much fun as waiting for a diamond stud to pass through a three-year-old sounds, all I really want is a macaroni necklace. And maybe not to have to cook for an entire day.
I can only assume that my mom is the same way. Besides, she is one of those types who has everything they ever want or need. What do you get someone like that? Answer? A macaroni necklace. A figurative macaroni necklace, you see. You make her something!
The wheels in my head got to spinning as I ordered thank you cards for myself, Alice and Finn over at Shutterfly. Shutterfly is one of those photo websites where you can create all sorts of cute little doo-dads with your pictures. I used to be an avid Snapfish customer, but now I only use them for our end-of-the-year photo books. Shutterfly stuff appeals to the wannabe graphic designer in me. Long story short, I got my mom stationery with her name on it. It was a little lame, but really cute, and it needed something else. I looked all over for a cute pen, but came up with nothing. Then I got it; I will make a cute little envelope to hold this adorable stationary and a so-so pen. So I set to work.
I got my tush over to the fabric store for some linen and canvas. I think it turned out kinda cute, no? If you want to make one, too, you can click here for the instructions. (Please just click on the link, already. I put way too much time into those effing instructions, and I’ll be damned if no one sees them. I’m looking at you, Mom.) And when you realize that your toddler is being awfully quiet just three feet from where you are sewing, it is probably because he is doing this:
The kids needed to get her something, too. Once we got my dad a “World’s Greatest Dad” sweatshirt for Father’s Day and my mom still makes fun of us about it. So THAT was out… Another trip to Target and I had nothing. We made another “macaroni necklace.” This one was a little book that Finn and I put together. I interviewed Finn; asking him all sorts of questions about Grandma and the top responses made it into the book. Then I had him go to town with the markers. I am sure my mom LOVED it. She has to, you know. It is from her grandkids. They could spray paint their retainers gold and mount them to a plaque and she would probably faint from the overload of so-called thoughtfulness.
My favorite response was when I asked Finn what Grandma looked like. He is pragmatic, I’ll give him that.