Humph.  I’m in a funk.  Do you ever have one of those weeks where nothing works out the way it should?  This last week has been one of those.  And my parents are supposed to come for a visit this weekend.  You know what that means.  Another cleaning marathon is just around the bend.

This last weekend was supposed to be fine.  We cleaned the garage on Saturday.  That was good.  We went out to eat.  That was not so good.  And we postponed a trip to the drive-in since Nae had to work on Sunday.  That was also a good idea.  Sunday; we I must have temporarily lost my mind, because we ended up going to the drive-in anyway.

I miss going to the movies so much; it used to be our thing.  We saw almost every movie that came out… Then the kids came along.  I bet you know how that story ends. But then we moved to Ohio, and we discovered a drive-in movie theater not terribly far from the house.

Oh, hello, movies!!  I have missed you so!  What is that?  You don’t mind if I bring my screaming toddler, since I can sequester him in the car, away from everyone’s grumpy stares?  And I can purchase a multitude of deep-fried items to nosh on while I enjoy a brand new movie?  Oh, how I have missed you.  *Sigh*

So, since we moved, we’d hit the drive-in on a regular basis, tot in tow, ready for a super fantastico double feature.  Finn would stay awake the entire time, all the way until one or two in the morning to watch the movies.  We got ice cream at intermission.  Most of the time it was a blast.  Sometimes it was a bit tricky, but nothing too unbearable.

Ahh…. The sweet memories of yesteryear.

This summer, we got all pumped up to see The Avengers.  Packed up the car and towed both the kids to one of the best parking spots in all of Ohio.  Then disaster hit.  Finn wasn’t cooperating, he kept waking up Alice, he had no patience for the movie and it rained.  Nathan and I looked at each other with sorrowful eyes.

“We’re never doing this again, are we?”

Alas, that was a whole month ago.  I have no long-term memory any longer (I think..?), so all that hullabaloo from last time just melted away.  And we tried it again.  And it was worse.

It started out alright.  We played at the park under the screen before it got dark.  I even shrugged off the sixteen-year-old “playground bouncer” who asked me (with a mighty condescending tone, considering I am twice his age) if I thought I “was a bit big for that, don’t you think?”  That’s fine.  Go shove your hideous lime-green vest up your tush, Jimmy.  I’m here to have a good time with my family, and not even you will spoil my good mood.

 

If you look close, you can see the little green-vested bastard laying down the law to those six-year-olds coming off the slides.

We loaded up with mozzarella sticks and jalapeno poppers at the concession stand.  We got to the car.

“But I want POPCORN!  And I peed.”

Okay…  Change the little goob into clean undies.  Settle in for the movie.  Snow White and the Huntsman.  (Sidenote:  K. Stew is not good, but she only has ten or twelve lines in the whole movie.  And Chris Hemsworth is… Oh.  Beautiful.  And the costumes were amazing.)  Then Alice wouldn’t eat, she wouldn’t sleep.  Finn wouldn’t sit still.  He crapped his pants.  Alice pooped.  Finn spilled popcorn all over the backseat.  Then he choked on apple juice.  And by that time, the previews we over, and Nathan was being a bear, too.  A lightbulb went off in my head.

Oh, yeah.  This is why we weren’t ever going to do this again.

I don’t need to give you the whole rundown for you to know how absolutely “eventful” it was.  When the second movie started, everyone but me was knocked out, and I got to enjoy most of Dark Shadows in peace.  Even though my arm felt like it was going to fall off from holding Alice.  No matter, I was AT THE MOVIES.

We got home, and both the kids woke up.  (Why not?)  That was about two in the morning.  By the time three rolled around, I was finally stumbling into bed.

Say it with me, now.

NEVER.

EVER.

AGAIN.

I just hope I remember this time.

Oh, wait, when does the next Twilight movie come out??

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