Yesterday morning, I woke up with toes in my hair. Finn’s toes, actually. He had wedged himself between the head of the mattress and the headboard; headbutting Nathan and pulling the hair out of my head with his toes. Have you ever seen that alarm clock that shreds money? I’d gladly trade a few shredded George Washingtons to avoid waking up with someone’s feet tangled in my ponytail.
I reached up to try to unstick him, only to find his midsection totally soaked. I didn’t perform any bodily fluid analysis or anything, but I think I can assume with relative certainty that it wasn’t sweat.
“Nae… Wake up… Finny wet the bed… I gotta take the sheets off.”
Nathan grunted, mumbled something that sounded like “Fuck. Again?,” rolled over and resumed his impression of a drowning moose.
Last night, when we had both settled into bed, I realized that I had a total brain fart and forgotten to strip the sheets and wash them.
“Shit, Nathan… I forgot to change the sheets. Finn peed on them last night.”
To which he replied, without moving, “That’s gross.”
“Yep. Really gross.”
I said my goodnights, we kissed each other, rolled over and went to sleep.
Wow. Really, I’m not sure how and when this happened, but we have gotten to the point where we can lay in another human’s dried urine and not care. Maybe we need another vacation.