Oy.  All I wanted to do was make dinner.  What started out as a weakness for Noodles & Company’s Penne Rosa ended up in Sex-Toy-Ville.

via Pinterest – And for the record, not half as good as N&Co.

Just the other day, I was checking out this hilarious post from Meredith over at Pile of Babies.  Short story even shorter; Meredith’s husband has rechristened Pinterest with the moniker The Gingham Dildo.  (Read the post and you’ll see why.)  I laughed my ass off, but I never realized how topical The Gingham Dildo could be.

I had remembered seeing a pin with a recipe for Noodles & Company’s amazing spicy pasta, Penne Rosa.  I punched “pene rosa” in the search box, and there it was.  With something else…  A bunch of pink baby teethers.  Closer inspection revealed they weren’t baby teethers.  They were various vibrating (shield your eyes, Grandma, Aunt Sue and all readers under the age of 18) cock rings.  Oh, yeah, and then there were a mess of giant, pink wieners.  I am NOT talking the Oscar Meyer variety.

Nope. Not a baby teether. And though my Spanish is pretty rudimentary, I’m certain that the pink dildo (With balls?  Really?  Who even likes balls?) is “very smooth, hypoallergenic and  some kind of safe.

I suppose “pene rosa” is Spanish for “pink penis.”  Oh, and it is peNNe with two N’s for that delicious type of pasta.   But in all honesty, do they make vibrating baby teethers?   Because this teething shit with Alice is killing me.

So, that is what I get for spending too much time on The Gingham Dildo (thank you, Meredith’s husband), I mean, PINTEREST.  The one place on the internet that I thought was safe from porn.