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After counseling Nathan that , no, it is not cool to wear jean shorts again – yet, what do I do?  I grab my old jeans and make a pair of cutoffs for the first time since the eighth grade.

diy cutoffs

These jeans, they were one of those pairs of jeans; the ones I wore to death and then still wore, regardless of the fact that they were too loose, past the point of acceptable “worn-in-ness” and would fit perfectly right from the dryer but fall off my ass before I arrived at Target to pick up more diapers.

I resigned to the fact that they were about to pitched in the trash – since they were  too big to even paint in – when I saw (yet another) idea on Pinterest (which I did not pin – agh) that made me tap my fingertips together maniacally, narrow my eyes and go “hummmmm….

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My grandmother had sent me a boatload of doilies that had been in the family forever (handmade by my great-great grandmother, no less) to do this to, but so far its a project I still have not gotten around to accomplishing.  What’s a girl to do with forty painstakingly hand-made heirloom doilies?  I know.  Cut them up and make a pair of shorts out of them.  Naturally.

I tried cutting my jeans twice, and twice they ended up with whackadoodly hems – too low on the sides and too high in the crotch.  While that might be socially acceptable in some circles, I was not pleased.  What really helped was folding them like I was going to iron a crease in them (inseams and outside seams all lined up) and cutting them.  Short story even longer: my shorts are just a tad too short for my taste.  No matter.

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photo 3

photo 2

After cutting the doily in half, I hacked out a triangle from the outside of my shorts, and then used the little piece I cut out as a pattern on the opposite side so they would both match.

photo (1)

I pinned the half doilies in place…

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And double stitched along the triangle, and then did one more pass just to be sure.

Since the jeans were originally skinny jeans from a few years ago, meaning they weren’t tight tight tight like skinnies are these days, I made a little snip in the inseam (about a half-inch), just to give me a little more room in them.  After a spin in the washer and dryer, they frayed up just perfectly.

This is my "Finn?  Why are you putting Legos up your nose?" face.

This is my “Finn? Why are you putting Legos up your nose?” face.

Do I look a little more country and a little less rock ‘n roll than normal?  Sure.  Let’s be frank, though.  Really, looking like a badass was never one of my strong suits, so I guess I can let it ride.

And NO, Nathan – jean shorts are still uncool for guys.  Now put down that pair of Target Wranglers and let’s getcha a nice pair of khakis.