I am riding high, folks. I’ve faced the harsh reality that at the age of 32, my potential to be an Oscar winning actress has passed me by. Apparently, Steven Spielberg and friends decided to pass on hiring me as Evelyn, Indiana Jones’ take-no-prisoners, archeology-is-in-her-genes, long-lost daughter. They were looking to go in a different direction, and I suppose Shia LaBeouf beat me out to be the progeny of Dr. Jones, Jr. and Marion Ravenwood. Realizing the train wreck that is Shia LaBeouf is seen as a better fit than you takes its toll on one’s ego. I vowed never to act again. Seeing as how I had never acted prior, my IMDB page is a little weak.
Nope. Haven’t spent ANY time fabricating that alternate reality.
But, I digress… This is the best alternative to thanking Meryl Streep and being honored to be nominated (let alone WIN) along side so many other talented ladies. And I never had to gain any weight or ugly myself up with a prosthetic nose.
Anywho, I’d like to thank Apartment Therapy, my agent, God, my husband and most of all my mom, who was always there to cheer me on. I think that’s all the time I’ve got before the music plays me off.