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Realizing that my little boy has been on this earth for HALF A DECADE sends me into a round of dry-heaving sobs.  He just asked me if we could look for his stuffed frog’s friends on Facebook for pete’s sake.  (I don’t know how he knows about the old ‘Book.  He certainly doesn’t hear it from me.)

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All this mourning of his little-ness does not change the fact that there is a party to plan, though.  And thanks to the advent of preschool, we actually have more than two friends to invite.  Fourteen friends, to be exact; including the twelve-year-old girl down the street that Finny has a crush on.

The little man decided that he’d like to have a LEGO superhero party, but after begging and pleading with him to have just ONE theme, he settled on plain LEGOs.  (And for those of you purists, I don’t give a rat’s ass about what the proper pluralization of “LEGO” is.)  So we got to planning.  And after spending hours and twenty-five bucks on BrickLink (and thirty at Amazon), Finn had a change of heart.

“Mom.  I want a Skylanders party.  Not LEGOs.”

This was the moment where my fifty-five dollars worth of VERY specific LEGO bricks to build fifteen LEGO racecars said otherwise.  And though we had a very tense few days – once the LEGOs came in the mail, this little man conceded.  LEGO party it was.

This weekend, I’ll be addressing these f-ing awesome (if I do say so myself) invitations:

Finn's Birthday Invitation ABB

Cutting out another 150 green construction paper circles:

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And re-gluing 17 letters on to the birthday banner (because spray adhesive is one fickle bitch):

photo 1 (1)

My very biggest concerns?

ONE: Where do I seat a dozen and a half red-frosting-smearing preschoolers?  This is the only time I have ever questioned my sanity after deciding on white slipcovered dining chairs.  They are washable, but Red Dye #40 stains.  Fo’ reals.

TWO:  Am I being an asshole for putting a LEGO man head cake up for show, but serving only cupcakes?  I want to make this cake (above), but also those cupcakes.  And cupcakes means no cake-cutting and no forks.  And then we would have our own family-only special cake for his actual birthday.  Can I do that?

THREE:  Finn had his first birthday party to go to last weekend.  I was the only parent that just dropped off.  Is this, like, a thing???  I felt like a bit asshat after I realized I was the only one who didn’t stay.  So, what do I do with a dozen adults?  Do I feed them?  Where will they sit?  What will they do?  Now the pressure is on for my house to look its very best; meaning trim needs to be finished and I should probably spend the next week covered in paint while the 80-something stair balusters get one last coat of paint.

I have a few weeks to get everything together.  Invites have to go our next Wednesday, thanks to spring break and parent-teacher conferences.  Will anyone come?  Oh my god, this is just like giving a speech in freshman-year english class.  But with construction paper.