The Closest I’ll Ever Get to Being a Celebrity

27 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by anotherbigbite in I'm a Crafty Mo' Fo', Nerd Alert

Tags

apartment therapy, family portrait, lego, Lego Family Portrait, minifigures

Huzzah! Apartment Therapy picked my DIY Lego Family Portrait for their series 28 Days of DIY Home Decor!

I am riding high, folks. I’ve faced the harsh reality that at the age of 32, my potential to be an Oscar winning actress has passed me by. Apparently, Steven Spielberg and friends decided to pass on hiring me as Evelyn, Indiana Jones’ take-no-prisoners, archeology-is-in-her-genes, long-lost daughter. They were looking to go in a different direction, and I suppose Shia LaBeouf beat me out to be the progeny of Dr. Jones, Jr. and Marion Ravenwood. Realizing the train wreck that is Shia LaBeouf is seen as a better fit than you takes its toll on one’s ego. I vowed never to act again. Seeing as how I had never acted prior, my IMDB page is a little weak.

Nope. Haven’t spent ANY time fabricating that alternate reality.

But, I digress… This is the best alternative to thanking Meryl Streep and being honored to be nominated (let alone WIN) along side so many other talented ladies. And I never had to gain any weight or ugly myself up with a prosthetic nose.

Anywho, I’d like to thank Apartment Therapy, my agent, God, my husband and most of all my mom, who was always there to cheer me on. I think that’s all the time I’ve got before the music plays me off.

A Halloween Dry Run

14 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in I'm a Crafty Mo' Fo', Nerd Alert, The "Joy" of Parenting

≈ 43 Comments

Tags

cosplay, despicable me costume, despicable me lucy costume, diy, family, gru costume, halloween, halloween costume, homemade costume, lucy wig, minion costume, purple minion costume, sewing

They are done. OH EM GEE!!! DONE!

Halloween costumes are done!! I was so excited. I arranged them all on the floor while Nathan and Finn were out and Alice was asleep. And then I got out the camera because I could. not. help. it.

Which is when the guys walked in, with me standing on a chair, hovering over our costumes with a camera dangling from my neck.

By some miracle, Nathan was easily persuaded to try them all on and shoot some pictures. It helped that I promised if we took them now, we wouldn’t have to take a hundred of them right before trick or treating on Halloween. And I was expecting Alice to have a mini-minion meltdown, but holy lord, she even kept her hat on the whole time.

The miracles just kept coming, ladies and gents.

If you’re new to this neck of the woods, we decided to be characters from Despicable Me (the second one). Finn decided. We all followed along.

The kids are Minions, and adorable…

Nathan and I looked like complete freaks, but I ‘spose that is what Halloween is all about.

For the kids’ costumes, I whipped out very simple pairs of overalls – just pants with a bib on the front (Finn’s were an old pair of jeans in a past life). They each got a pair of $.87 gloves from Walmart and I made them each a coordinating hat (you can read all about the hats here) to got with their fleece sweatshirts.

Nathan’s Gru costume was the easiest and cheapest costume of the bunch. I made the striped scarf from black and gray fleece. We dug one of his old coats out of the basement, I tacked on the “G” logo as a pretend zipper pull and made a nose out of Fun Foam. A not-fooling-anyone kinda nose. One that is hilariously unsophisticated and not awe-inspiring at all.

We had two options – buy the “witch’s nose” kit from one of those Halloween pop-up stores or get the Gru mask. The witch’s nose was all wrong and had an enormous wart on it. We found the mask, but besides the fact that it felt like cheating and not half as much fun, when I tried it on, it sent Alice into a panic. So no to that idea. Fun foam it was.

And his skinny pants? I have to hand it to him; he is totally rocking out a pair of his long underwear.

My costume, Lucy (Gru’s love interest), was the hardest one of them all. It sucked up the most time and funds. I found a pattern at Joann’s for a trench coat and made a few alterations to it – and used fleece to cut down on the cost. Never in my life have I wanted to murder a piece of fabric more…. The collar was a disaster and I spent over an hour staring at the instructions trying to figure out what I was supposed to do next. I spent the entire night dreaming about it. I wish I was exaggerating.

I bought a pair of cheapie sunglasses at the dollar store and painted them with blue nail polish. Want to know how to entertain yourself for an entire nap time? Try painting pink polka dots on a scrap of white fabric one day to make a scarf – that was fun! (Eye roll.)

And the wig? Ahh. A hot mess.

It is actually two $6.00 orange bob wigs from Walmart. One wig is balled up and pinned to the top of my head for Lucy’s bun. The one I wore got pinned up and under – and I’m lucky that she popps her collar – since the back is even worse than the front.

Another Big Bite - Despicable Me Costumes

I can only imagine what Alice is thinking about her brother in this pic.

Either way, it is fine – since all we plan on doing is trick or treating at the zoo and around the neighborhood with all of our costumes on.

The only thing left to be decided is this… Nose, or no nose? Nathan’s fake nose is terrible…. but it is kinda what makes Gru “Gru.”

Whaddya think…. should we keep it?

Totally thinking this should be my new “About Me” photo.

DIY Minion Hats

24 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in I'm a Crafty Mo' Fo', Nerd Alert, The "Joy" of Parenting

≈ 45 Comments

Tags

costume, crafts, despicable me, despicable me costume, diy, diy costume, family, halloween costume, kids, minion, minion costume, minion hat, purple minion, purple minion hat, sewing

First of all, I have one word for you… Mutiny.

After I got knee-deep in Finn’s Minion Costume, Finn and Nathan ganged up on me as he was trying it on.

“Please, can Alice be a purple Minion?? Please, oh please??”

And so my dreams of dressing Alice and I up as dweeby Disney World characters were dashed. Now we are all going to be characters from Despicable Me.

For those of you who have not seen the second Despicable Me, this is what I was dealing with…

Okay, I ‘spose I could get excited about this…

The hats were the hardest part of the costume, since the rest is nothing more than a yellow or purple shirt and overalls. I started with Finn’s winter hat as a template on fleece; Finn’s yellow Minion hat was nice and round on top, but Alice’s got a little extra up top to give some height for ALL. THAT. PURPLE. HAIR.

After a test fitting, I was properly schooled that Minions have mouths… And so crooked teeth were constructed out of fleece and fitted for the purple one, and a tongue for the yellow fellow.

For the goggles, I used the top of a mailing tube for Alice’s before I realised that mason jar lids were the perfect size – and subsequently used them for Finn’s. The eyeballs were more fleece and hot glued into place.

Hair for the yellow Minion was a piece of cake; black pipe cleaners were fed through the top of the head and glued into place.

The purple hair was a different story all together. Ohmygod. I am rolling my eyes as I recall the process.

My first yarn purchase was too – stringy? I hit up Walmart for the chunkiest cheapie yarn I could find, and then subsequently spent an entire evening making purple quasi-pom-poms. Thirty two of them, I’ll have you know. After they were all properly combed and coiffed, each of them was tacked on to the hat with a needle and thread. OH, what FUN.

Once the eyes were glued into place, I had a hard time wrestling the hat away from Finn. If he had it his way, he would wear it all day long.

As you can imagine, getting a toddler to stand still with a head of purple hair long enough to snap a clear picture is not easy. Finn was kind enough to model Alice’s hat.

Now that the Minion costumes are thisclose to being in the bag, I have to turn my attention to Nathan and I’s costumes. Nae is going as Gru, and I’m going as his love interest, Lucy. God help me if I can find a wig for that one…

Because I have learned that my sanity cannot take another head covering made from combed-out yarn.

The Hunt for Rad October

12 Thursday Sep 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in Nerd Alert, Party Hearty, The "Joy" of Parenting, The Good Ole Days

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

baby wonder woman costume, costumes, diy costumes, halloween, jessica and roger rabbit, robot costume, roger rabbit costume, wonder woman costume

Holy crap. It is halfway through September. Where does the time go? Many a year ago, I would turn the page on the calendar to August, and one word would cross my mind…

Halloween.

I would plan costumes in August, hunt for supplies in September and assemble in October.

I love Halloween.

You see, I’m tremendously geeky, yet not so geekish that my geekdom requires me to fashion and don costumes the other 364 days each year a-la Comic Con or Dragon Con, or ComicCon Con, or whatever other Con you can think of. I wish I had that much free time and capital. So my creativity gets channeled into one day.

Nathan used to fight me tooth and nail about Halloween. I would beg him all year round to fulfill my costume fantasies – not THOSE kind of costumed fantasies, because lets face it; dressing up as Mystery Incorporated (The Scooby Doo gang) isn’t sexy in the least. Unless maybe you dress up like Daphne. But I’m no Daphne, and Nathan is neither Fred nor Shaggy.

Pre-kids as Jessica and Roger Rabbit

One year, he caved. Jessica and Roger Rabbit. Costume success. Though many of the younger party-goers had no idea who we were. After the Rabbits, the seal had been broken, and we ushered in matching troll dolls, Ghostbuster characters and the cast of Toy Story… (You can see our Halloween yearbook here.)

Now I have two kids – hence zero time for planning ahead. Last year worked out pretty well. Finn now has 89% control over what he’ll be, though I have total veto-power. Alice went as Wonder Woman and her costume was adorable. But as many ten-month-olds, she had little hair at the time and looked more like a random patriot once it was on.

Finn chose to be a robot, and I’ll be damned if I let an opportunity to bedazzle something with twinkle lights pass me by. His costume was off the fa-shizzle. (Or whatever the hip cats of today are saying.)

A few years back he was Spiderman – this year he wanted to be Spidey again, but I urged him to think of something a little more original (something that allowed me to selfishly spread my creative wings beyond stitching miles of webbing into polar fleece again). He came up with Venom, wich is really just an all-black Spiderman. I begged him to be Jack Skellington. He would have none of that. How cute would this have been??

Finally, he decided to be a Minion.

And Nathan is going to be Gru. (or as Finny puts it, MR. Gru.)

Actually, other than a scarf, Nathan is pretty much a dead-ringer for Gru. The nose is a little off – maybe.

As for Alice and I, I’ve decided to make an executive decision and make her costume soley based on something I’ve always wanted to be. Next year, she would never allow me to choose for her. Instead of a super cute My Little Pony, I’m going to be an asshole and dress the two of us up as something so obscure and Disney-World-Epcot-1980s-Nerd-Alert that even I am having second thoughts.

NO. Not Michael Jackson/Capitan EO – Jiminy, I’m not that weird. My studded, white leather jacket and rainbow tee will have to live in storage for yet another year.

These guys. Alice can hate me later.

Dreamfinder and Figment from Journey into Imagination, a ride that is now somewhat defunct at Epcot (only Figment is still around), but is such an endearing part of my childhood that I cannot resist. No, I am NOT wearing a beard. Again – I’m not THAT weird.

This weekend, while Nathan is hopefully finishing Finn’s bed (rock holds came in today, yippee!!), I’ll be cutting up old pairs of jeans and scouring Goodwill for a navy blue blazer. I’ll be swearing at my sewing machine and berating myself for buying too much lilac fabric. And I’ll be scouring the internet for a reasonably priced top hat – since I’m cool like that.

What are you all up to for Halloween? Any ideas yet? Please tell me that you are not going to dress your three-year-old daughter in a Snow White/hooker costume from Party City, are you?

Or let me know (gently) that no one else cares about Halloween besides me and the pop-up Halloween stores on September 12th.

Every [Lego] Man, Woman, and Child

29 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in I'm a Crafty Mo' Fo', Nerd Alert

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

crafts, decorating, diy, family, family portrait, lego, lego men, legos, minifigures

We are big into Legos over here. Finn was bit by the Lego bug right before he turned four, and after getting Legos for his birthday, he has amassed an impressive collection. I despise picking teeny bricks out of the carpet. I loathe fishing them out of the air registers. And when I step on one in the middle of the night? He’ll hath no fury like a barefoot mother piercing her foot with a Lego. And yet, they keep Finn entertained for hours on end – sometimes for an entire day. The return on investment is pretty good for a set of Legos. It’s worth the pain.

Nathan gets pretty into it, too. Whenever we are in Denver, we always seem to make time for the Lego store. I watch Nathan fawn over the giant train sets, intricate camper vans and Lord of the Rings battle scenes. I know what he is thinking. Soon… Soon.

Me? I’m partial to the Lego men. Minifigures, I’ll have you know. Don’t think the extraordinarily nerdy thirtysomething working at the Lego store won’t correct you if you refer to them as Lego Men. Whatever you want to call them, they are adorable. Finn has a small army built up. Right after I realized that you could order almost any Lego piece ever made on their website (through the “Missing Pieces” department), my mind went to the only natural place a Minifigure-super-dweeb’s brain could go. Hell yeah… I’m making US out of Lego men.

And so, our first family portrait was born. Seriously… Since Alice was born there hasn’t been a single picture taken of all six of us.

It was almost if it was meant to be. I spent an entire nap time digging through the online Lego archives, picking out the perfect hair, accessories and shirts for our Lego family. And two weeks later, I got a padded envelope from Denmark containing our family’s Lego DNA.

We all turned out pretty cute. But Nathan – ohmygod. It is as if Nathan was always meant to be a Lego man.

I turned out just peachy.

The kids were adorable.

And Walter and violet? Spot on. Lego only makes two different dogs, and they are almost perfect matches for Waltie and Vi. (Not that anyone would ever mistake Dub-ya for a German shepherd, but the color is right. And his ears stick up. So humph.)

I made a shadow box out of an Ikea frame by gluing paper-wrapped chipboard just behind the glass to act as a spacer.

I used Command Strips to attach the Lego men to a piece of white cardstock. Since both Alice and I had a ponytail, I had to stack the strips four high for us to sit level.

And poof… Once I mounted them on the cardstock, I realized this was hella better than a 20×30 portrait of us in matching denim shirts above the fireplace.

The only bummer? The frame wasn’t deep enough to accommodate Nathan’s coffee mug, my camera, Finn’s sword and Alice’s (wait for it….) banana. Which is fine, since a banana is pretty lame in the way of Lego accessories.

Now it graces our bookshelf in the living room. I’m a terrible parent for putting it there, though. Both Alice and Finn desperately want to play with them, and I’m all “Leggo my Lego men, mini people! Touch them and I will place loose Lego bricks next to your bed in the middle of the night!!”

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