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Another Big Bite

Another Big Bite

Category Archives: Uncategorized

Celebrating Half a Decade… With Construction Paper

14 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by anotherbigbite in I'm a Crafty Mo' Fo', Party Hearty, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

birthday invitation, birthday party, lego, LEGO bricks, lego invitation, lego party, party

Realizing that my little boy has been on this earth for HALF A DECADE sends me into a round of dry-heaving sobs.  He just asked me if we could look for his stuffed frog’s friends on Facebook for pete’s sake.  (I don’t know how he knows about the old ‘Book.  He certainly doesn’t hear it from me.)

photo (1)

All this mourning of his little-ness does not change the fact that there is a party to plan, though.  And thanks to the advent of preschool, we actually have more than two friends to invite.  Fourteen friends, to be exact; including the twelve-year-old girl down the street that Finny has a crush on.

The little man decided that he’d like to have a LEGO superhero party, but after begging and pleading with him to have just ONE theme, he settled on plain LEGOs.  (And for those of you purists, I don’t give a rat’s ass about what the proper pluralization of “LEGO” is.)  So we got to planning.  And after spending hours and twenty-five bucks on BrickLink (and thirty at Amazon), Finn had a change of heart.

“Mom.  I want a Skylanders party.  Not LEGOs.”

This was the moment where my fifty-five dollars worth of VERY specific LEGO bricks to build fifteen LEGO racecars said otherwise.  And though we had a very tense few days – once the LEGOs came in the mail, this little man conceded.  LEGO party it was.

This weekend, I’ll be addressing these f-ing awesome (if I do say so myself) invitations:

Finn's Birthday Invitation ABB

Cutting out another 150 green construction paper circles:

photo 2

And re-gluing 17 letters on to the birthday banner (because spray adhesive is one fickle bitch):

photo 1 (1)

My very biggest concerns?

ONE: Where do I seat a dozen and a half red-frosting-smearing preschoolers?  This is the only time I have ever questioned my sanity after deciding on white slipcovered dining chairs.  They are washable, but Red Dye #40 stains.  Fo’ reals.

via Pinterest

via Pinterest

TWO:  Am I being an asshole for putting a LEGO man head cake up for show, but serving only cupcakes?  I want to make this cake (above), but also those cupcakes.  And cupcakes means no cake-cutting and no forks.  And then we would have our own family-only special cake for his actual birthday.  Can I do that?

THREE:  Finn had his first birthday party to go to last weekend.  I was the only parent that just dropped off.  Is this, like, a thing???  I felt like a bit asshat after I realized I was the only one who didn’t stay.  So, what do I do with a dozen adults?  Do I feed them?  Where will they sit?  What will they do?  Now the pressure is on for my house to look its very best; meaning trim needs to be finished and I should probably spend the next week covered in paint while the 80-something stair balusters get one last coat of paint.

I have a few weeks to get everything together.  Invites have to go our next Wednesday, thanks to spring break and parent-teacher conferences.  Will anyone come?  Oh my god, this is just like giving a speech in freshman-year english class.  But with construction paper.

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Potpourri for $500, please, Alex.

12 Tuesday Nov 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

Because three people might be mildly interested in the random shenanigans from the  last two weeks over at Casa de la Lisa.

First off, it is now COLD.  Like, turn on the heat cold…

photo 1 (3)

We had visits from two Grandmas…  (Finn has tallied all the Grandmas up and realized that he has seven.  SEVEN.)  My mom and mother-in-law came to town.  Not at the same time; while I love both of them dearly, I do not have enough brain cells to be a good daughter and daughter-in-law simultaneously…

photo 4

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photo 2 (2)

photo 5

Though I didn’t take many pics of when Mima was here, I did get this; Alice on her first horse ride.  I know, it’s a pony, but holycrap, she was one happy little wee one after riding Beauty.

photo 1 (2)

After hearing O Fortuna in our Halloween mix, I have rediscovered this gem from a few years ago and realized the power of suggestion is an amazing thing…

This octopus…. Lets give him boots…. Send him to North KOREA!!  I cannot get it out of my head.

I’ve learned that there is no rhyme or reason when it comes to movie stars I can’t get enough of.  Nae and I had a rare date night when his mom was in town, and I spent the entire night dreaming of Norse gods…  Was Thor 2 the best movie ever?  No.  But it had this:

But I also am strangely obsessed with Benedict Cumberbatch.  I’ve heard his face affectionately compared to a hammerhead shark.  Cumberdict Hobberflooble is the effing bee’s knees.  Yep, he is (to put it very diplomatically) very “striking,” but I am a woman obsessed.  Balderdash Cumbersnatch as Sherlock Holmes?  Don’t mind if I do.  Even Nathan loves this show.  I am counting down the days to Season 3.  Hell, he is the one and only reason that I watched the new Stark Trek movie.  I mean, my nerdness runs deep, but even I have my limits.

If you take nothing else away from this mindless post; get yourself to Netflix and watch Sherlock…  I promise you will not be disappointed.  Gwen, this means you.  During our next visit, this is what we will discuss.  To resist is futile.

(Oh, and you can visit the Benedict Cumberbatch Name Generator and crack or smile or two if you need to waste a few minutes.)

But as straight-laced English as he is, I have to balance it out somehow.  Guess who found out that another season of The Vampire Diaries just became available on Netflix?  The same gal who spent a week in bed, screaming at the television for Elaina to just make up her goddamn mind on which Salvatore brother is better in the sack.  It is a ridiculous show, but before I knew it, I was gasping “No. Effing. WAY.” at the close of the season finale.

This is nothing more than lady-smut; like reading a bodice-ripper without actually reading. And I have no shame.  I LOVE it.

To top it all off, I cannot shake this amazing house.  The Curbly folks lucked out and got Emily Henderson to design their newly remodeled digs.  Jiminy CHRISTmas, it is like I live here… But in my dreams… With Thor.

via Emily Henderson

via Emily Henderson

via Emily Henderson

via Emily Henderson

And this is why you haven’t heard from me in a while.  I’ve been busy.  If you call visiting with family and fantasizing around the clock BUSY.  Three cheers to that.

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Homemade Peach Pop-Tarts

04 Friday Oct 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Another Big Bite - Peach Pop Tarts

I love me some peaches.

Not fake peaches: peach schnapps, peach iced tea, peach yogurt?  Nope.

But peach pie?  Peach cobbler?  Straight-from-the-tree-hot-from-the-sun peaches?  Yes, please.

I’ve seen a fair share of homemade pop-tart pins and recipes circling Pinterest and the blogosphere.  Sure, it sounds great to make your own strawberry pop-tarts.  But you can buy strawberry Pop-Tarts in the store.

I can think of two wonderful reasons to make your own pop-tarts…

First off, you can make them any flavor under the sun; ones that would never show up in actual Pop-Tarts.  Which is sort of a misnomer; Pop-Tarts are getting pretty ballsy in coming up with whackadoodle flavors all by themselves.  The peanut butter ones are actually pretty good in a non-Pop-Tartish way.  And Red Velvet Cake and Pumpkin Pie successfully bridge the heartbreaking gap we all NEED to fill between dessert and breakfast.

Sidebar; but what is the effing deal with Pumpkin Spice-ing everything under the sun? Otherwise sane individuals completely loose their shit over the return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks.  Pumpkin Spice scones, and muffins, and ice cream, and coffee creamer…  I heard someone had the audacity to make a PUMPKIN SPICE PIE, though it could have just been a crazy internet rumor.  And I’m pretty sure Arby’s just came out with a Pumpkin Pie Roast Beef Sandwich.

I digress…

The second reason to make your own pop tarts is this:  Pop-Tarts are packed with sugar, fat and carbs.  Homemade pop tarts are packed with sugar, fat and carbs.  But they taste WAY better.

It is a simple process; roll out some pie dough, fill it with some kind of pie filling, fruit or preserves. Seal them up.  Bake them.  Pour over some glaze.  Ruin your heathy eating for the rest of the day.

photo 1 (4)

For my peach filling, I peeled and chopped some peaches, added lemon juice, brown sugar, white sugar, flour, cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg and pureed it all in a blender.  I let it simmer away on the stove while I made the dough.

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I know, that doesn’t look terribly appetizing, but it will soon.

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I suppose you could use store-bought dough to save time, but I prefer to make mine from scratch.  Once it was rolled out, I dolloped my filling on the dough and sealed them up.  They have to be crimped…  And I mean crimped like I was getting ready for my first New Kids on the Block concert in 1991.  Crimped super hard… Otherwise the filling oozes out when they are baked.

photo 4 (3)

See? Not crimped enough.

After they come out of the oven, I gave each one a dainty little bath in glaze – nothing more than powdered sugar and milk; and then went to town with the sprinkles.  Kids love sprinkles.  (So do Mom and Dad.)

Oh, and word to the wise – they are hotter than Ryan Gosling coming out of the oven.  To keep yourself from climbing the curtains while they cool, watch the kissing-in-the-rain scene from The Notebook before you plow through your toasty little pastries.

Another Big Bite - Peach Pop Tarts2

Homemade Peach Pop Tarts

Filling:

  • 2 cups peaches, peeled and chopped
  • 3 Tbsp brown sugar
  • 1 Tbsp granulated sugar
  • 1 Tbsp flour
  • 2 Tbsp lemon juice
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • dash of nutmeg

Crust:

  • 1 pkg store-bought pie crust  -OR-
  • 1 1/2 cup flour
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/3 cup shortning
  • 4-5 Tbsp cold water

Glaze:

  • 1/2 cup of powdered sugar
  • 1/4 milk

Combine ingredients for filling in food processer or blender and puree.  Cook on low heat for approximatly 15 minutes.

For dough, mix flour and salt in a bowl.  Add shortning and cut in with pastry blender or forks.  Add cold water one tablespoon at a time, mixing inbetween tablespoons.  Form dough into a ball and divide.

Roll each portion to about 1/8″ thick.  Trim to a large rectangle and add approximatly 3 tablespoons of filling for each tart.  Fold over dough, cut individual tarts apart and crimp all sides with a fork.  Pieerce the top layer a few times with a fork and bake for 7-10 minutes at 425 degrees ferinheight.

Mix powdered sugar and milk for glaze.  Drizzle over hot tarts and allow to cool before enjoying.

poptarts 2

Oh, and I totally took that photo with my Pumpkin Spice iPhone.  Good, eh?

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A Little Self-Help, Blogger-Style: A Long-Winded Mantra

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in Being a Grownup, My Two Cents, The "Joy" of Parenting, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

health, healthy-living, mental-health, resloutions

Yeah, yeah.  I know it is close to the end of February, but I’m about to totally rock out the New Year’s resolutions.  We’ve moved to a new city, a new state, a new house…  Maybe “New City’s resolutions” is a more appropriate description.

The great thing about living in a mountain region (conversely, the not-so-great thing about living in Ohio) is that people are more cognizant about staying active and not letting the deep-fat fryer take over their lives.  We let ourselves go once we got to the Mid-West…  Becoming parents had a bunch to do with it, too.  We started to turn things around last year around this time; Nathan was getting ready to go to Jump School and I had the go-ahead to start working out again after my C-Section with Alice.  We started to eat healthier, got out and DID stuff (active stuff) and started to slim down.  I’m not sure where we stumbled out of that routine, but it might have been when we went on our road trip around the East Coast.  McDonald’s begets more McDonald’s, maybe?

Either way, I am getting to be way doughier than I would like to admit.  Also, I want to be able to rock out the “Cool Mom” street cred while Finn and Alice are in school – I don’t want to be a soccer mom that sits on the sidelines every Saturday.  I want us all to be out playing soccer together.  Scratch that – I suck at soccer – maybe rock climbing?  I refuse to succumb to Mini-Van parenting.  I want to be involved.  I want us to all be involved.  This is more than just exercising, I’ll have you know.  This must be the point in a parent’s life where they realize that if they want their children to model certain behaviors, they, too must model said behaviors themselves.  I want my kids to be responsible; fiscally, socially and responsible for their own happiness.  I also want them to be active, creative and well-traveled.  And worldly. And respectful to their mama, damn it.

So, starting now, I have a little bit of work ahead of me.

If you’d rather not hear about my Stuart Smalley-esk little affirmations; no hard feelings, just skip ahead.  ‘Cause this is about to get real, ladies and gents.

Feed The Pig: Right now we are so close to getting things straightened out with our finances that I can just TASTE it.  Once all of our house-buying/moving debt is wiped out (and it cannot come soon enough), I am vowing to be more productive with our cash.  We are going to plunk more into savings.  I still want to have all sorts of nice things, but I know that we are wasteful when it comes to our spending habits.  We buy way too much.  We are scaling back.  We are going to be more precise with our spending.  I think this one will be easiest for me.  It is simple; I just have to stop buying so much shit.  Target – you are my new enemy.  Diapers and toiletries ONLY.  I will not cruise the home decorating aisle…  Often.

Part of this starts here at the house, too.  The bonus side to scaling down your house is that you have to scale down your stuff.  We have donated trunkfuls of stuff to Goodwill and still have more to unpack and sift through in the basement.  I’m going to make an effort to whittle down my closet, too.  Ugh.

Bottom Line:  Buy less; buy smarter.  Save more.  Get rid of superfluous stuff.

Get My Ass In Gear:  It might surprise some of those who didn’t know me in high school, but this now-flabby mom butt used to be hella tight and cute.  One might have described it as one of my finer ass-ets, ahem?  Way back when, when I was rockin’ a mean pair of overalls and six-inch, stacked-heel, patent leather mary janes (not at the same time), my butt was cute.  My thighs were big, but super toned.  I didn’t have this strange patch of squish at the small of my back.  I know I’m never gonna get my cheerleading-high-school bod back, especially those cute, perky chimichangas, but I need to get closer than I am now.  Sure, I am back to my pre-baby weight, but I don’t look like I am.

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What am I gonna do about it?

First of all, not hit the gym.  Or work out.  Let’s face it, I would be totally setting myself up for failure.  I am going to be getting out more, though.  As in OUTdoors.  I’m giving myself a pass until the weather clears up…  Me, pushing the double BOB stroller through snow drifts?  Nope.

I’m going to eat less.  And eat more veggies.  I’m only nursing Alice before bedtime at this point, so I’m not worried about my milk supply or her getting adequate nutrition.  No more sweets around the house.  No more baking.  The more sugar I eat, the more I want to eat MORE.  Also…

No more Less Diet Coke.

Gasp!

Nathan and I have been contemplating getting a juicer, and I’m just going to go to town with that sucka.  We also just started our seeds for our garden, so I’m hoping there is going to be a somewhat successful harvest to shoot through that juicer.  I’m not convinced that growing our own veggies will cost less, but I am convinced that I will be more apt to eat them if I spend a bunch of time taking care of them.  Here’s to hoping.

Bottom Line:  Be as active as I used to be.  Eat less.  Eat more good stuff.

Try to Be Hot Again:  Look, I’m not saying that I was a total babe, but I used to be pretty cute.  I had time to do my hair, floss, choose from a plethora of moisturizers and utilize said moisturizers, and pluck my eyebrows.  Shaving my legs?  Yeah, wasn’t ever really great on staying on top of that.  I didn’t set much of a standard for that EVER; and that is certainly not going to change now, peeps.

Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist worrying about me “trying to be hot for my husband,” trust me – that truly is not an issue at all.  Not in the way that “my hubby thinks I am beautiful no matter what” bullshit, but let’s be real – once you suffer the indignities of pregnancy in front of your significant other, you are always hotter than those last three months you spent baking another human.  Truth be told, your stretch marks and pooch are way sexier than a giant flesh watermelon getting in the way of your bedroom activities.  Add the mental gymnastics used to get around the fact that you are trying to get busy with another human being wedged between the two of you, and well, you can only go up from there.  (Or, maybe that is your thing, in which case, carry on with your bad selves.)

I miss looking good, mostly because I like to wax nostalgic about what it was like to have the time to look good.  I am reminded of a time where I didn’t have another person using my toothbrush as sword.  And I think I carry myself a little better when I take a few extra minutes to coiffe.  I’m not gonna go balls-to-the-wall with this – my daily uniform of sweatpants and embarrasingly dweebish t-shirts won’t change, but I could find the time to use a blowdryer now and again.  Right now, that is an hour task.  Because I have mermaid-boob hair.

See?

Yes, I am wearing a shirt and not two seashells to coverup my boobs.  It just so happens to be a nude camisole.  Like I would post a pic of my topless self online?  Please.

Yes, I am wearing a shirt and not two seashells to cover up my boobs. It just so happens to be a nude camisole. Like I would post a pic of my topless self online? Please.

Since I will be editing down my wardrobe, I am aiming to keep only clothes that fit well and are currently an acceptable style.  Three or four outfits and I’m a happy gal.  I still will never get rid of my t-shirts proclaiming my love for Disney World, my preference for one Twilight character over another or emblazoned with a certain bespectacled teenage wizard.  I just won’t wear them OUT anymore.  (Even if it is only to Walmart.)

Bottom Line:  Haircut.  Blowdry once and a while.  Mascara.  MOISTURIZE.  No Team Jacob shirts in public.  

Okay, unless we are going to a movie on opening weekend, Gwen.  That doesn't count.

Okay, unless we are going to a movie on opening weekend, Gwen. That doesn’t count.

Super Mom:  Okay, maybe not SUPER Mom…  Just BETTER Mom.  Mostly, I need to improve my patience with the kids.  I’m not 100% sure how to accomplish this, but I’ve been reading a fair smattering of parenting articles, and all I can do is take it one day at a time.  And not allow myself to feel like a shitty parent because I lost my cool and spanked Finn for SPITTING ON ME.  (I still feel justified in that one.)

Bottom Line:  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Woosaahh.

See the World:  Even if it is only this part of the world, Nathan and I have gone over again and again and again that we want the kids to be well-traveled.  All the places I have seen, all the things I have done – they make me who I am.  I can’t imagine how much of a sheltered douche bag I was before I got out and traveled…  Now, I suppose I still count myself among the douche bags, but seeing how our contemporaries in other parts of the country do their thang has made me a better person. (I think, anyway.)  I want my kids to have a healthy respect for people of all walks of life; I know that carting them across the country in a trailer week after week won’t do that. I am hoping that it will set a foundation for them to go out and make their own opinions about the way the world works and not just recycle the crap they hear on Fox News.

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Bottom Line:  Keep doing what we’re doing.  Get on the road as much as possible.

Keep the Creative Flow Flowing: My “three adjectives that describe you” fluctuated through my young years, but always included this staple: creative.  Also in the mix was weird, shy, obnoxious, preppy, dorky and left-handed.  Clearly most still apply.

Now I am a creative as a noun and not just an adjective.  I have been spending a good hunk of the last few years doing graphic design when the little people are napping, and I want to take it more seriously.  I want to get it out there, but haven’t yet, for fear that it isn’t quite up to par with what real graphic designers do.  I’m not sure at what point one becomes a real graphic designer, but I’m pretty sure getting paid is part of the equation.  Although Alice is only a year old, Finn’s impending jaunt to kindergarten isn’t taking its time plowing over his preschool years.  Once Alice is sitting on the giant ABC rug learning the Pledge of Allegiance, I better have a backup plan.

Mainly, I don’t want to live my life pinning cool stuff on Pinterest and never doing anything.  Lately I have been letting the “make it” part of me slide.  Time to dust off the old Singer and make some new dresses for Alice.  I’m going to keep fighting the good fight with my camera’s manual mode.  I need to make that damn mushroom stool for Alice’s new room.

Bottom Line:  Be a better designer.  Make something.  Anything.

Okay.  I’m done.  That is enough resolutions for now.  All I have to do is get my family on board.  I’m having a Jerry McGuire moment, now that I have finished my manifesto…

“Okay, whose with me?  Who is comin’ with me?” (Shake bag of goldfish crackers for effect.)

Oh, please, god; do not let Renee Zelweger be the only one to stand up.

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A Hawkeye State of Mind

02 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in On the Road Again, The "Joy" of Parenting, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

farm living, grandparents, holidays, Iowa, sledding, Travel, winter

photo 3 (6)

It is funny… So very much has been going on that I would love to blog about, and yet – blogging has taken a backseat (actually, it is stuffed in the trunk beneath the jumper cables) to the rest of my life.

I am a pretty good whiner and complainer; and yes, handling the kids and being sorta homeless is tough, but I really don’t have that much to bitch about.  We have been bouncing from guest room to guest room, inching our way across the country.  We spent a few weeks with my mom in Chicago.  Now we are camped at the family farm in Iowa with my grandmother.  A few might say that it is tough being a single mom; because being a single mom IS tough.  This is not single parenting, though.  I’ve got more extra sets of hands than I ever had in Ohio.  I’ve got someone to eat dinner with that is fully capable of using their fork for its intended purpose.  It is nice to carry on an actual conversation; one that doesn’t involve detailed descriptions of bowel movements or superheroes.

Come to think of it, most of us have had the flu over the past week and a half, so I suppose I have been having a few extra conversations about pooping.

My brother picked Nathan up from the airport for me, and the first words I uttered to him were “Can you get me something to throw up in?”  Who says romance is dead?

Nathan came in to Chicago for the holidays.  The original plan was to head on back to Colorado right after Christmas, but the closing on our Ohio house was delayed (yay, real estate!!), which also meant that we wouldn’t be able to close on our Colorado house on time.  This is why I’m hanging out in the friendly state of Iowa; the internet connection may suck, but the company is good.  My great-aunt was also visiting; she left this morning after we made sure we gave her a parting gift – the flu followed us here from Chicago.

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The holidays were great; we saw the famed Zoo Lights at Brookfield Zoo and took the train into the city to see the holiday windows on State Street.  After breaking bread at Marshall Field’s (which is now Macy’s but will forever be Field’s in my heart), we headed back for Christmas Eve dinner at my parent’s house.  By that time my brother, Finn, Alice and my stepdad had all been leveled by the flu.   Or, as my brother Mike eloquently observed while my youngest brother Jeremy was barfing; “T-Rex is in there attacking the toilet.”  Ick.

We are all unplugged (literally and figuratively) at the farm now in Iowa.  I get spotty cell service, there is zero Wi-Fi and the Internet speeds are about as fast as they were around the time of Christ.  I can get Pinterest and Facebook on my phone if I sit in the exact right spot upstairs.  You know what, though?  It isn’t so bad.  It makes me feel like I’m back in high school, when we only had land lines and AOL Instant Messenger was a tool for occasional entertainment only.

photo 5 (3)

Instead, we have been celebrating Grandma’s birthday and playing out in the snow.  We’ve built a snowman, explored the barn and corn crib, poked sticks at the frozen pond and seen the frozen grape vines.  I keep telling Finny about Grandpa Stan’s garden, Grandpa Stan’s pond, Grandpa Stan’s tractor…  This is the first time I’ve been back to the farm since my grandfather’s funeral.

“Do you want to see where grapes come from, Finn?  I’ll take you to Grandpa Stan’s garden and show you the grape vines.”

“No.  I want to see him.”

“Who is him, Finn?”

“This guy you keep talking about.  Grandpa.”

And so I find myself crying in the middle of the frozen prairie amongst the dead milkweed.  I’m sad that Finn didn’t get a chance to experience the force of nature that was Grandpa Stan.

photo 2 (6)

 

photo 1 (8)

So… For the next week and a half, we will be completing an entire snow family, exploring the chicken house come greenhouse and searching for the perfect coat for Princess Backfat; it is way too cold for a pea coat here in The Hawkeye State.

We’ve already checked “Iowa Skiing” off our list.  For those of you who aren’t intimately familiar with this favorite winter activity of native Iowans, it involves a four-wheeler, a length of rope and an ice-fishing sled.  Maybe a visual is in order:

photo 3 (7)

Though it isn’t necessarily recommended for grandmothers or toddlers, we are working on getting these two on the sled this coming week.

photo 4 (3)

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perfectly delightful ways to waste time...

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  • Apartment Therapy
  • Buttered Toast on the Beach
  • DesignWorkLife
  • House*Tweaking
  • Pile of Babies
  • Prudent Baby
  • Reddit
  • Young House Love

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