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Another Big Bite

Another Big Bite

Tag Archives: cake

Disgruntled Foul utop Dessert

09 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by anotherbigbite in From the Kitchen, The "Joy" of Parenting

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

angry birds, birthday cake, birthday cakes, cake, finn

1 Finn Bday

Finn’s birthday was a success this weekend.  There was cake, ice cream and candy…  This last week has been pretty tough to stay nice and healthy.  It started with Easter dinner which was healthful as holiday feasts go.  But there was candy everywhere…  And with the Finnster’s birthday, we had cake, ice cream, pizza; the works.  Which is fine.  I’m glad the crappy eating is over, though, since it seems that the more crap I eat, the more apt I am to keep eating it.

Back to kale.  De-lish.

Finny is pretty into Angry Birds at the moment; not that I understand the draw of it, but he spends little time playing the actual video game and lots of time stacking objects up and throwing plastic birds at them.  It is loud, but he seems to get something out of it.  Naturally, he wanted an Angry Birds cake for his birthday.   In fact, he told everyone that would listen that he was having an Angry Birds party; nevermind the fact that it was just going to be the four of us here at the house.

photo 3

The irony is not lost on me that I joyfully awaited becoming a parent so I could make adorable, awesome birthday cakes and now that this blessed chore befalls me, I have no energy or drive to cover the kitchen in a thin film of powdered sugar. This cake would have been the bomb, if not for the kids.  And work.  And laundry.  And cooking.  Such is the life.

The thought of breaking out fondant for a cake that would be half eaten and tossed in the trash was not tempting.  Not to mention fondant kind of tastes like the inside of a dogs rear end.  Instead, I got a package of gumdrops and went about snipping and molding and smooshing them into what vaguely resembles an indignant red cardinal and irritating green pigs.

photo 1

I used little white sprinkles for the eyes and (shhh – don’t tell anyone) used a Sharpie of all things to make the little black dots for their eyes.  That’s me; poisoning my family, one Sharpie dot at a time.

photo 2

Throw a package of wafer cookies in the mix and you’ve got a cake that will delight any four-year-old – enough so that he may be content playing with his cake the entire day until he blows out his candles, gets a giant slice and promptly ignores it in favor of playing with his new Legos.

Since Nathan had to work over the weekend, I asked Finn what he wanted to do.  He decided that the zoo was the place to be (again), and I happily obliged.  Besides getting mugged by an entire herd of giraffes after being the only one in a crowd with a scrap of lettuce, we headed out so Finn could ride on the ponies.  He was so excited that he couldn’t even stand still.

photo 4photo 5

After the cake and presents were out of the way, we dumped what was left of the cake in the trash so we wouldn’t be tempted to eat it.  Finn played with his new toys extra late and wearily stumbled up to bed and both kids were out cold in less than five minutes.

Which happened to be my very favorite part of the day.

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Chatting About Poop with a Pastor

05 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by anotherbigbite in From the Kitchen, Party Hearty, The "Joy" of Parenting

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

cake, kids, parenting, party, vacation, wrigley field

We are finally back from Chicago…  The Alice Elizabeth North American Tour has completed its Midwest leg.  The christening was a success, she looked great in her dress, the cake was delicious (and quite cute), and nobody tripped and fell while walking up the pulpit steps (or whatever you call it) in front of the entire congregation.

Saturday night was spent ironing table cloths, poufing tissue paper pom poms and finishing the cake.  So, after a LOOONG day at the Cubs game, I came back home, only to get everything ready for the party the next morning.  Which was only slightly impeded by an exploding condiment cup of bleu cheese dressing.  For those of you who really know me, the real insult was being covered literally from head to toe (Alice, too!) in fucking BLEU CHEESE.  I hate moldy cheese.  That shit smells like Pirates of the Caribbean; and I’ll pass on dipping my chicken wings in Liquid Jack Sparrow, thank you very much.

The day started out like this:

How on earth Gwen, Alice’s Godmother, still likes me after all my high school douchy-ness, I’ll never know. But I’m glad she does, especially for Alice’s sake.

Ah, The Friendly Confines… I love Wrigley Field.

And ended with this, thank god.

Sunday morning was a blur; after all twenty-seven of us got through the shower at my mom’s, we changed into our Sunday best and headed to church.  Everyone save Alice.  I was not about ready to have her puke on her dress in the car.  She left the house looking like a total Guido from Jersey Shore.  She rocks a mean bare chest, that girl.

We changed her into her dress in the parking lot, and it was as if all the stars aligned the second we stepped out of the car.  Oh my goodness, it was the cutest she has EVER looked.  Wouldn’t you know… I didn’t get a single picture of just her in her dress.

The service starts, everything is going well.  Then the pastor asks the little kids up to the front of the church for the Children’s Sermon.  It’s all about Labor Day, and doing work, yada yada.  Then the pastor says something about how you feel in your heart…  Finn just plows into human anatomy with her, in the front of the whole church; in front of 100+ people.

“Yes, I have a heart, and this is where my brain is.”  He points to his head.  “And then, when you eat, you swallow your food, it goes down your drain, down your esophagus, into your stomach, gets smushed up, then it goes into your little tubes…”

At this point he is pointing to his intestines.  He has the whole church politely smiling now.  Nathan and I have heard this rant before, and we so know what is coming next.  It is like an accident happening in slow-mo.

“And then it goes into your big tubes.”  He lifts his tush off the step, tilts his hips so they are facing the parishioners.  Nathan and I are now both shushing as fast and loud as we can.  But, it is no use.  He points to his butthole.

“And then it comes out as poop.”

And the crowd goes wild!!  All while Nae and I are red-cheeked and silently cursing my brilliant idea to check out the human anatomy book from the library.  The pastor handled it gracefully and without a blink; thank goodness.

When she asked all the kids to pray, Finn’s eyes lit up and he exclaimed, “I can play now?!?”

Yeah…  We don’t get to church too often, can you tell?

After the little sugarplum was drenched in holy water, we raced home to see if we could beat the crowd back to my mom’s for lunch.  I just barely got all the food on the table and snapped a pic before everyone dug in.  In fifteen minutes, the food was gone.  Okay, I’m exaggerating, but it went fast.  So fast that I never got to take a picture of the inside of the cake.  I turned around for two minutes and the whole thing was reduced to a pile of pink crumbs.

After everyone left, we plopped down in the grass, let Finn and Alice get good and covered in grass stains and indulged in WAY too much Chinese food, thanks to Mr. T.  It was a smashing success.  Our Kung Pow Chicken went down our drains, down the esophagus, into our stomachs, got smushed up, then it went into our little tubes, through the big tubes…

I’ll leave it at that, ‘kay?

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