After counseling Nathan that , no, it is not cool to wear jean shorts again – yet, what do I do? I grab my old jeans and make a pair of cutoffs for the first time since the eighth grade.
These jeans, they were one of those pairs of jeans; the ones I wore to death and then still wore, regardless of the fact that they were too loose, past the point of acceptable “worn-in-ness” and would fit perfectly right from the dryer but fall off my ass before I arrived at Target to pick up more diapers.
I resigned to the fact that they were about to pitched in the trash – since they were too big to even paint in – when I saw (yet another) idea on Pinterest (which I did not pin – agh) that made me tap my fingertips together maniacally, narrow my eyes and go “hummmmm….”
My grandmother had sent me a boatload of doilies that had been in the family forever (handmade by my great-great grandmother, no less) to do this to, but so far its a project I still have not gotten around to accomplishing. What’s a girl to do with forty painstakingly hand-made heirloom doilies? I know. Cut them up and make a pair of shorts out of them. Naturally.
I tried cutting my jeans twice, and twice they ended up with whackadoodly hems – too low on the sides and too high in the crotch. While that might be socially acceptable in some circles, I was not pleased. What really helped was folding them like I was going to iron a crease in them (inseams and outside seams all lined up) and cutting them. Short story even longer: my shorts are just a tad too short for my taste. No matter.
After cutting the doily in half, I hacked out a triangle from the outside of my shorts, and then used the little piece I cut out as a pattern on the opposite side so they would both match.
I pinned the half doilies in place…
And double stitched along the triangle, and then did one more pass just to be sure.
Since the jeans were originally skinny jeans from a few years ago, meaning they weren’t tight tight tight like skinnies are these days, I made a little snip in the inseam (about a half-inch), just to give me a little more room in them. After a spin in the washer and dryer, they frayed up just perfectly.
This is my “Finn? Why are you putting Legos up your nose?” face.
Do I look a little more country and a little less rock ‘n roll than normal? Sure. Let’s be frank, though. Really, looking like a badass was never one of my strong suits, so I guess I can let it ride.
And NO, Nathan – jean shorts are still uncool for guys. Now put down that pair of Target Wranglers and let’s getcha a nice pair of khakis.
